WHAT GOOD MENTORING LOOKS LIKE

When I first joined Intel right out of business school, there were very few women in senior leadership roles. One of them was Carlene Ellis, who was Intel’s former CIO, VP of Intel Innovation in Education, and also a member of then-CEO Craig Barrett’s Executive Staff. She was in charge of bringing tech into K-12 and higher ed classrooms and it was a such thrill to be part of her team.

One day we had a scheduled 1:1 where I was to update her on project status, and instead, she used the time to offer unsolicited career mentoring. She was warm, approachable, super smart and funny – and I was incredibly moved that she would take the time for me. It made all the difference in my career, and she has inspired me to do the same for other women.

What does good mentoring consist of?

It’s important to lay a good, strong foundation at the start of a mentoring relationship. You want to build trust both ways.

First, get to know each other. From the mentor’s perspective – learn about your mentee:

What are their goals?
What inspires them the most?
How do they envision themselves 2 years from now? 5 years? 10?
What lights them up or gets them up in the morning?
Where are they challenged? What gets in the way?

Next, it’s a good idea to design your alliance – discuss everything from frequency of meetings to range of topics. Make the conversations centered on the mentee and their goals:

What goals would you like to achieve?
What do you need from your mentor?
How can your mentor support you on an ongoing basis? Ask for specifics.

Ask your mentee to come prepared with topics to explore at each meeting, to frame the conversation and let it flow into a more productive, fun discussion. When my mentees come prepared with thoughtful questions, both of us become more fully engaged and show up fully for each other – there’s a healthy exchange of ideas, dynamism, curiosity, and learning.

During each meeting, try to be an active listener. Ask clarifying questions and try to understand what your mentee needs before jumping in to offer advice:

Are they looking for a sounding board?
Or seeking practical tips and advice?
Do they need help setting goals, and an accountability partner?

Be approachable and available. Invite them to experience and talk about failure as it’s a foundation for learning and self-awareness.

Finally, be honest – don’t be afraid to call out when they are being too self-critical, negative, or going off-track. Challenge and stretch them. And hold them accountable to their commitments.

Good mentorship consists of mutual caring and trust. And a dynamic, evolving partnership that stays fluid, in service of the mentee’s goals.

To teach is to learn twice, and it’s been an incredible privilege to learn from all my mentees and coachees who challenge me to be on my A-game!

In our next posts, we’ll discuss: