How do you network without the ‘ick’?
Having recently run and participated in virtual and in-person networking events, I’ve been reflecting on the value of networking and how it’s evolved since the pandemic.
Building strong relationships matter more than ever, and so, there is an opportunity to reframe networking as the chance to create meaningful connections over time.
Dovetailing on my last few posts on this topic, here are my latest Do’s and Don’ts:
1) Build relationships, not transactions.
Remember that person who asked for a huge favor within minutes of a first meeting? Didn’t they make you feel used afterwards?
Get to know people at a genuine level. Invest the time, enjoy the people you meet. Be thoughtfully curious.
2) Be interesting and interested.
Don’t dominate the conversation (extroverts beware) – in your enthusiasm, you launch into a long monologue about yourself and get lost in your thoughts; meanwhile your colleague has started to check out.
Be ok with pauses – silence is good – give your listener some space to process what you’re saying and give them a chance to speak, and ask thoughtful follow-up questions.
What are you learning from what you’ve just heard? What are you inspired to learn more about, from them?
3) Think and act like a broker, not a taker.
Share information and introduce people to each other. Who do you know who could help them? What information were they seeking that you just listened to a podcast about? How can you help connect the dots for others? How can you support each other?
4) Zip it.
Practice discretion in what information you share and who you share it with – beware of TMI. Protect and respect your contacts’ privacy and confidentiality. Be contextually aware and don’t assume what they’ve shared with you is fair game for you to share with others.
5) If you hear crickets, don’t take it personally.
Resist going down the path of rumination. Did I say something wrong? Did they not like me? More than likely, the person on the other side is super busy or your email was lost in other emails.
Do send a follow up message as a friendly nudge to show your intentions, and give them the time (and choice) to respond.
Finally, show gratitude: in the spirit of making genuine connections, DO send follow up thank you notes to let your connections know you valued their time, and better yet, share the outcomes of their advice/ referrals.
And pay it forward!
Related Resources:
How to Ensure People Don’t Feel Used When You’re Networking With Them (Fast Company)
The Awkward Person’s Guide to Networking (Harvard Business Review)
Friend of a Friend: Understanding the Hidden Networks That Can Transform Your Life and Your Career (by David Burkus)
