Most Friday evenings, I meetup with friends to play music and have a great time. Often what makes for a good jam session is our ability to actively listen to each other while we play – giving and receiving musical ideas and cues – much like a great, engaging conversation.
Active listening pushes me beyond thinking about what notes I’m going to play next – instead, it allows me to keep all my senses open to receive visual and aural cues from my bandmates, so that I can be fully present and respond in the moment.
But you don’t need to be a musician to listen well…
Good listening goes beyond hearing what’s being said, or not said. Besides noticing non-verbal cues, it also means listening at much deeper level, and observing the emotional energy in the room, whether in a social or professional setting.
What if you listened with both head and heart?
Does the energy in the room feel buzzy, sparkling, or flat? Frenetic, tense or relaxed? Do you feel excitement or indifference? Are your senses signaling to you that your team is in an awkward place?
What other team dynamics do you notice? Does everyone seem at ease and comfortable speaking freely, or do they seem hesitant? Are you sensing fear? What is the elephant in the room that isn’t getting addressed?
What is the larger goal that the group is *really* striving for?
Have you ever been in situations where you mis-read the tone of a conversation, and wished you had responded differently? What was the impact of that?
